The way you "should" date

        Over the past few months I’ve seen people post links to what feels like a million articles or blogs (like this one) discussing the “terrible truths” of modern dating. It’s getting old and I feel like the other side isn’t fairly represented.

        Of course I agree with some of the arguments, like how ridiculous it is that the person who cares less (i.e. takes more time to text back) has more power in modern relationships. But other parts of modern dating are simply because of who we are as an age group. Much of the dating members of society are college students or young graduates who aren’t necessarily looking to settle down. While some of our peers are posting pictures of their weddings and newborns, we are deciding whether or not we will order a Wild Wednesday pizza from Padrone’s.

         We will take dating seriously if we find someone we really like, but until then we want to meet new people and have fun while we are young. So we made the dating culture what we want it to be and if you don’t like it, don’t partake, maybe you’re ready to build a life with someone else. But, right now I can only take care of myself (if microwaved macaroni dinners count as taking care of yourself).

Here are some of my comments on common arguments/complaints:

1. “A person being carefree because they have zero interest in you looks exactly like a person being carefree because they think you’re amazing and are making a conscious effort to play it cool.” This makes me laugh out-loud because it’s so true, but why is it a big deal? Chances are you will catch on before you do something truly embarrassing. This is what’s fun about dating and what some people call “the chase”. 'Do they like me back? Not sure. Oh they do, yay! Oh they don’t' on to the next one. Or on with your day/night. Who cares.

2. Speaking to someone in person or calling them is almost an extinct practice, all we do is text. First of all the phone call part is true, but talking in person is not unheard of and frankly it’s annoying that everyone acts like we’d all rather Skype someone than be in the same room with them. Again I revert to the ‘so what’ argument. We all text a lot. I text my best friends about my day, I text my mom about my day, so why would I act any differently with a potential beau?

3. Actual dates are unheard of. This is slightly true as well. But it doesn’t have to be. If someone asks you if you want to hangout, step up and suggest going to the movies instead of their apartment. If they don’t sound interested in the plan, you aren’t on the same page so move on. Your dating experience is what you make of it.

4. “The only difference between your actions being romantic and creepy is how attractive the other person finds you.” True, but this isn’t a fair argument against modern dating, I’d venture to say this was true in other decades as well. But if someone isn't picking up what you're laying down then find someone who is! It doesn't make you weird or them rude, it means you are both looking for different things.

5. We are so casual as a culture that many people are in “label-free” relationships and if someone does some extra-curricular activities outside of the label-free couple it isn’t technically cheating because you weren’t really together. You are dumb for not addressing your feelings/desire to label the relationship. If you decide you want more and the feelings aren’t reciprocated, move on or accept the relationship for what it is and sign up for some extra-curriculars of your own.

        Of course every relationship is different and my thoughts may not apply to what you're going through. But the same can be said about all of these articles about how everyone is conforming to casual dating habits and this or that about a “hook-up” culture. We can all do our own thing. We shouldn't be condemning how people communicate as they work their way through the dating world. If you want casual texts and hang outs on the couch, go for it. If you want phone calls and well-planned dates, go for it. Happy dating! Or not dating!